OTTAWA – If pizza deliveryman Rick Pounder could say one thing to all Ottawans, it would be to stop giving him blowjobs. “It used to happen only once every other week, but now I’m up to tw…
Tag: economics
Grocers eager to stabilize prices at 500% of pre-pandemic values
OTTAWA, ON― Representatives for Loblaw, Metro, and Empire have responded with enthusiasm to Justin Trudeau’s recent ultimatum requiring them to curb inflation, which is now running at 4%. “We wan…
Rain streaming off mansions onto millennials’ heads cited as proof trickle-down effect works
TORONTO, ON ― Multi-property owners, real-estate agents, and proponents of supply-side economics are praising the GTA housing market’s trickle-down success, whereby any water not filling their in…
Shadowy cabal agrees to buy bigger conference table
ZURICH – The clandestine organization of billionaire power brokers responsible for controlling the world’s destiny has reportedly decided to purchase a larger conference table. “The vote is…
Make-A-Wish foundation fulfills child’s dream of becoming tenured professor of economics
CHICAGO, IL – Finally able to follow in the footsteps of his longtime hero Milton Friedman, the Make-A-Wish Foundation has let one sick little boy live his dream of becoming a tenured profe…
Dozens injured as Nobel laureates brawl with MacArthur Fellows in Stockholm back alley
STOCKHOLM, Sweden – Just hours after being recognized for their academic and scientific achievements, the 2016 Nobel Prize Laureates engaged in a violent brawl with the 2016 MacArthur Fello…
