Thanksgiving is here. A time for families to come together, make lasting memories and try to remember what this Holiday is technically supposed to be honouring. But mostly we eat. Usually Turkey …
Tag: Eating
“Toronto is the most multicultural city in the world,” brags unicultural man to unicultural friends
TORONTO – Local white man Aaron Burton recently talked with his group of entirely white friends about how great it was to live in a city with so much diversity. “Multiculturalism is w…
Nutritionists worried people aren’t getting enough billionaires in their diet
WASHINGTON, DC – The U.S. National Institute of Health has issued a statement outlining their concerns that, despite a growing public appetite to devour the rich, people still aren’t consum…
Summer fun: Top five Edmonton patios to inhale exhaust
Summer in Edmonton – synonymous with warmth, sunshine, and idling vehicles. To help you take full advantage of this season, we rank the best patios for maximal exhaust exposure. 1. Julio’s …
Indoor restaurant builds separate indoor restaurant on sidewalk in order to work within COVID guidelines
Barrie, ON – Local restaurants have brilliantly adapted to the new COVID guidelines by building smaller but still fully enclosed restaurants outside their original restaurant. “People are n…
Scientists confused, concerned after local man finishes spring mix salad pack before it gets gross
Thunder Bay, ON – Researchers at Lakehead University are baffled and more than a little distressed after discovering that local man Hunter Braddock finished an entire Spring Mix Salad packa…
Delusional sports bar owner believes customers will order from his takeout menu
CALGARY – Completely misreading his clientele, the owner of Nutter’s Sports Bar and Grill believes there will be high demand for the unremarkable items on his takeout menu. Brad Furst’s 17th Aven…
5 best pizza slices in Toronto even though you’re just going to get Pizza Pizza again
Toronto is a foodie’s delight. And as much great food as there is in the city, sometimes nothing beats a perfectly done slice of ‘za. Which is why we’ve ranked the most mouth-watering pizza slice…
Taco Bell introduces Cheesy Gordita Trough
Irvine, CA – Building on some of their most popular menu items and the basest instincts of their customers, Taco Bell unveiled their newest menu item, the Cheesy Gordita Trough. “We took th…
“He never tried to eat me,” friends defend cannibal
AJAX, ON — Friends of accused cannibal, Robert Black, are rushing to his defence after a tip to police revealed a freezer full of limbs in the basement of his house. “Look, I know Rob. He’s…