WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to sources, Hillary Clinton reportedly came off well during a chance encounter with the United States of America in the cafe they used to frequent together. It …
Tag: Donald Trump
House GOP excited to finally read new AHCA bill they just passed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Republicans told reporters this afternoon that they are excited to actually read the text of the American Health Care Act, which they just voted 217 – 212 to …
Senate Republicans divided on Trump’s plan to kill us all
WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans remained divided Monday, as a vote neared on President Trump’s controversial proposal to kill everyone on earth. The proposed “Liquidation Of All Human Life Act…
Donald Trump Jr. killed in drive-by revenge shooting by elephants
Mar-A-Lago, FL – Tragedy struck the First Family today, when Donald Trump Jr. died of his injuries shortly after being riddled with bullets by a group of elephants in a Cadillac 4×4. “…
Trump’s 100th day gala celebrated “longest ever” presidential term
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump skipped the White House correspondents’ dinner this weekend, opting instead to hold a rally celebrating his 100th day in office – the “longest ever term…
Celebrated dealmaker Donald Trump trades Alaska back to Russia in exchange for beans
Anchorage, AK – American President Donald Trump has made a deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin that would give the state of Alaska, purchased by the United States in 1867, back to Ru…
Huge Misstep: Is Trump over now that he’s angered Canadian dairy producers?
Unbelievable. It turns out that picking a fight with one of the most powerful and beloved institutions in the world might finally be the thing that brings down Donald Trump. “As a nationalist, I …
Exasperated God going to keep making new kinds of spiders until we stop being so racist
EARTH – After long eras of systemic racial discrimination by humanity, God has clarified he will keep inventing new, terrible kinds of spider until we stop. “Okay guys,” said God after Dona…
Fox News limits hosts to 5 sexual harassment scandal maximum
NEW YORK – Following their decision to fire popular pundit Bill O’Reilly, Fox News has announced they are setting a “hard limit” of 5 sexual harassments for all remaining on-air talent. Aft…
Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival
INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …
