DONKEY KONG ISLAND – Despite a storied decades-long career as one of the most popular and iconic characters in the Nintendo universe, Donkey Kong is still regarded with suspicion by some of…
Tag: cocaine
First Bitcoin ETF will combine simplicity of cryptocurrency with integrity of investment stocks
TORONTO – North America’s first Bitcoin exchange-traded fund opened this week on the Toronto Stock Exchange amidst skyrocketing cryptocurrency values. This new ETF spearheaded by Purpose In…
Defunded police officer forced to buy own cocaine to plant on people
Camden, NJ – Faced with economic hardship since his city defunded the police force seven years ago, local police officer Pete Garner has been forced to use his own money for vital supplies,…
Devastated stock brokers with faces in hands clearly not taking coronavirus precautions seriously
NEW YORK – Stock brokers throughout the world holding their faces in disbelief at the economic consequences of coronavirus have not been taking public health advice seriously. WHO advised t…
Woman always on vacation in your Instagram feed actually cocaine smuggler
PLAYA DEL CARMEN, MEXICO – After taking a series selfies in a tropical beach paradise, the gorgeous woman in your Instagram feed who always seems to be on vacation loaded a boat full of coc…
Lost photo album from the 70s reveals local Mom’s fun side, coke habit
London, ON – Local woman Mona Tucker is still reeling from the discovery of a long-lost family photo album from 1973 that revealed that her mother, Amy, was a fun, popular recreational coke…