CALGARY – Calgary has unveiled the design of its new hockey arena and event centre, Scotia Place, which will share the same sleek and contemporary look as famous arenas across Canada like Rogers …
Tag: Calgary Flames
Fuck it, let’s do some Connor McDavid trade proposals to see how mad they make Oilers fans
The Edmonton Oilers suck. And not just how they’ve usually sucked for most of our lives. This was a team considered to be a Stanley Cup favourite by every NHL analyst who forgot that goalte…
Canadian NHL teams ranked by how furious I would be if they win a Cup before the Leafs
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Winners and Losers of the 2023 NHL draft based on the 5 minutes of research I did right before it started
Another first round of the NHL draft has come and gone. And if there is one thing we know about selecting a bunch of 18 year olds to play professional hockey for our teams 1-4 years down the line…
Calgary tackles housing crisis by spending $867 million on new home for the Flames
CALGARY – As an increasing number of Calgarians struggle to find affordable housing, the City of Calgary has teamed up with the province of Alberta to spend $867 million to build one very s…
Flames head coach starting to think team should cover this McDavid guy
EDMONTON – Ahead of Game 4 Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter unveiled a secret plan to actually play defense against Oilers forward Connor McDavid. “Our strategy of just letting…
Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames’ season
CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it&#…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Violence devastates otherwise respectful Calgary-Edmonton hockey relationship
CALGARY – Two Alberta NHL teams and their fans are trying to heal after a devastating game that was marred by unexpected violence and childish name calling last night in Calgary. The game, …
Sport that definitely doesn’t have a racism problem suffers second racism scandal of month
CALGARY – Hockey, a sport that everyone agrees has absolutely no problem with racism and if you say otherwise you are a social justice warrior trying to stir up trouble, is currently being …