OTTAWA, ON – This week in the House of Commons Andrew Scheer rose to question Prime Minister Trudeau, however eyewitnesses report that he instead muttered “Oh God, I just remembered I lost …
Tag: Andrew Scheer
Conservatives allow Andrew Scheer to re-open debate on abortion as a special goodbye treat
OTTAWA – As Andrew Scheer’s terms as Conservative Party leader nears its end, party brass has decided to give the departing leader a special sendoff: permission to re-open the abortion deba…
Andrew Scheer gives Liberals insider tips on how to get rid of a party leader who won’t fucking leave
OTTAWA – Andrew Scheer, who announced he was stepping down from his position as Conservative leader seven months ago, has called on the Liberals to remove Justin Trudeau as their leader and…
Terrified mask escapes Scheer’s face
TORONTO – A shocked and frightened face mask has escaped Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer’s face after the traumatic experience of having to listen to what the opposition leader says. The …
Scheer furious that 200,000 Canadians making more off financial fraud than he is
OTTAWA – Andrew Scheer blasted Justin Trudeau this week for reportedly ignoring the 200,000 suspected cases of fraud amongst CERB applicants, who are now making way more per week than he is…
Conservatives worry federal benefits may discourage some Canadians from going back to indentured servitude
OTTAWA – As the federal government pleads with Canadians to continue respecting pandemic measures, the opposition Conservatives are warning that emergency aid could discourage some Canadian…
No one in Zoom Parliament going to tell Andrew Scheer that he is on mute
OTTAWA – As Canadian MPs participated in the second ever zoom parliament, all of them had silently agreed not to tell Leader of the Opposition Andrew Scheer that he has left his mute on and…
To soothe nation, Trudeau delivers daily address in ASMR
OTTAWA – Realizing the traumatic nature of the current pandemic, Justin Trudeau has sought to further reassure Canadians by delivering his daily address in a whispering tone designed to eli…
Kremlin still can’t remember trigger word to activate Bernie Sanders
MOSCOW – A source inside the Kremlin has confirmed that the handlers of deep cover operative Bernie Sanders have lost the password needed to activate the commands placed in his subconscious…
Horrified Conservative Party realizes they never told Scheer he was fired
OTTAWA — After a video of Andrew Scheer railing against CBC’s stance on the preschool cartoon Paw Patrol went viral, panic gripped the Conservative Party’s top members upon realizing they’d…
