Pussy-whipped loser can’t even go one night without asking the cops to find his missing wife
REGINA – Pathetic beta male Greg Sharpe is completely humiliating himself by asking the police for an update on his missing wife every single day. “We keep telling Greg to kick back, have a coupl…
7 facts about Pierre Poilievre that probably aren’t true but we refused to be briefed on the actual situation
Even though Pierre Poilievre has been leader of the opposition for a while now there is still so much we don’t know about him. And we were outraged to discover these 7 almost certainly not …
“Hey that actor was in Harry Potter!” says woman every 5 seconds while watching British tv show
DAWSON CITY, YK – Local woman Tess Coleman has reportedly exclaimed “hey, that actor was in Harry Potter” every five seconds, while watching a British TV show. “Here I am, watching the Serv…
I’m your #84735 biggest fan, realistic man tells idol
GRAVENHURST, ON ― In what he describes as the fourth-best day of his life so far, local man Matthias Lane had a chance to meet his hero, Blue Rodeo vocalist Jim Cuddy, after a concert Saturday. T…
Researchers uncover evidence that Stanley Cup Playoffs still in progress
OTTAWA – Officials at Carleton University held a press conference today, announcing their discovery that the long-thought-completed NHL playoffs are, in fact, ongoing. Graduate student Jaso…
Ontario Science Centre to be renamed The Galen Weston Centre for Condos and Corporate Greed
TORONTO – The Ford government has announced plans this week to change the name of the Ontario Science Centre to the Galen Weston Centre for Condos and Corporate Greed. The decision comes fo…
Doug Ford promises new Science Centre will be more accessible to dumb people
TORONTO – Ontario premier Doug Ford unveiled his plans for a new version of the Ontario Science Centre, which he claims fixes a critical flaw in the attraction; that it requires too much in…
Seven celebrities, inventions and exoplanets you didn’t realise are Canadian
Just because Canadians don’t like to toot our collective horn doesn’t mean there aren’t celebrities, inventions and exoplanets we can be quietly proud of, or even mention to an American friend if…
Leafs fans sick of current ‘good but not good enough’ team going to love return of ‘we suck and our front office is chaos’ era
TORONTO – With Kyle Dubas out as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs just weeks before crucial decisions have to be made about key players Auston Matthews and William Nylander, the fanbase is div…
Canadian TV writer not on strike, just unemployed
TORONTO – Local television writer Sean Tudyk recently assured a concerned public that the Writers Guild of America strike wasn’t negatively impacting him because, as a Canadian screenwriter…
