Recently fired man sadly leaves home office
VICTORIA, BC – Following his termination from his project manager job at which he has been working remotely, local man Corey Nielson is reportedly beginning the joyless task of clearing the…
Corporations accused of price gouging Northern Communities during the pandemic and also a long time before the pandemic
WHITEHORSE – In the midst of heightened demand during the pandemic some corporations have come under fire for artificially increasing prices, a practice which many spent years perfecting in…
Desperate TSN programmer just gonna start airing his high school hockey games
TORONTO – James Brennan, head of programming for TSN, is so desperate for some kind of sport to show the nation that he is just going to start playing full games of his high school hockey t…
Toronto vows to continue gentrification with or without the help of Sidewalk Labs
TORONTO – Citing economic uncertainty, Google affiliate company Sidewalk Labs announced that it is abandoning plans to build a high-tech neighbourhood on the city’s waterfront. However, the…
But if you take away my assault weapons, I’m just a regular man with hundreds of small guns
By Bobby Stonehouse Not-my-Prime-Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week that Canada would be banning assault weapons, and I, for one, am P’d the F OFF. By doing this, JUSTIN has robbed me of…
Housemate sure picked hell of a time to get back into Ska
SUDBURY — Amidst a global pandemic and strict social distancing rules that require Canadians to stay at home unless absolutely necessary, local housemate Mark Thomson has sure picked a hell of a …
Man discerns passage of time with ripeness of bananas
LIVING ROOM – As Canada enters its third month of mandatory self isolation, local man, Max Easton, has abandoned all traditional concepts of time and has decided to discern his days using t…
Following social distancing rules toughest for Canadians trapped in a human centipede
A CRAZY DOCTOR’S LABORATORY – As various levels of government continue to advise Canadians to follow social distancing rules, officials admit that this can be very challenging for some, lik…
Women rejoice as men mandated to stay 6ft away
TORONTO – As a result of COVID-19 social distancing women are rejoicing as men have been required to stay at least 6 ft away. Relieved to have some downtime from cat-calling Craig’s, lurkin…
Conservatives worry federal benefits may discourage some Canadians from going back to indentured servitude
OTTAWA – As the federal government pleads with Canadians to continue respecting pandemic measures, the opposition Conservatives are warning that emergency aid could discourage some Canadian…
