Liberals drop COVID restrictions now that ‘keeping people alive’ no longer polls well
OTTAWA – The government has announced that, as of October 1st, the border vaccine rules, travel mask mandates and mandatory use of the ArriveCan app will no longer be in force, now that kee…
Local contrarian takes immense pleasure from people’s expressions upon learning he’s never seen Star Wars
GRAVENHURST, ON ― Local middle manager and willful snob Kenneth Thomas had a fantastic time last night, when a party he attended gave him a chance to casually reveal to a host of new people that …
US condemns Iran for policing women’s bodies the wrong way
NEW YORK CITY — In his address to the United States General Assembly on Wednesday, US President Joe Biden condemned Iran’s violent enforcement of the country’s hijab law, saying the right way to …
Nova Scotia warned storm could reduce services to New Brunswick levels
HALIFAX – With Hurricane Fiona recently upgraded to a category 4 storm, officials are warning that power and service outages could drop to dangerous New Brunswick levels. “I won’t lie, thin…
Weird! Everyone you know currently sick with the disease from that Pandemic that ended a while ago
Well this is odd! It seems that nearly every friend and family member in your life is currently testing positive for COVID-19, the disease from the 2020-2021 Pandemic. “I mean obviously bas…
Trudeau: “Countries (except Canada) must be held accountable for unmarked, mass graves”
LONDON, UK — Following the discovery of unmarked mass graves in Ukraine Prime Minister Justin Trudeau showed no tolerance for Russian President Vladimir Putin, declaring “Any country (besides Can…
I know we’ve called every Conservative Leader for the last 7 years a right-wing extremist, but this time we mean it
By Justin Trudeau As you know The Conservative Party of Canada has selected Pierre Poilievre as their new Party Leader. Unfortunately I have to warn you that Mr. Poilievre is a dangerous right-wi…
Conservatives oppose NDP-Liberal Dental Care Plan with proposed “fuck you, let ‘em rot” plan
OTTAWA – In an unsurprising move, the Conservative Party of Canada have opposed a potential NDP-Liberal universal dental care plan, and instead proposing their own “fuck you, let ‘em rot” p…
Shocking Grand Theft Auto VI leak reveals new game set in Regina
REGINA – A massive leak of footage from Grand Theft Auto VI has surprised gamers by revealing that the game will be set in a thinly disguised proxy of Regina, Saskatchewan. Videos posted on YouTu…
Trudeau: It’s too difficult to abolish the monarchy, we need to focus on other difficult things we also won’t do
LONDON, U.K. – When asked this week if the death of Queen Elizabeth II would result in Canada finally removing its foreign head of state, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was adamant that Cana…
