New U.S. Environmental Protection Plan basically just giving nature guns

WASHINGTON, DC- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced its new strategy to conserve natural spaces; distributing firearms to all native plant and animal species to allow them to prote…

Columnist just going to re-run his “Nobody Wants To Work Anymore!” editorial from last month to save the effort

TORONTO – David Maddux, one of the National Post’s best hate-click generators, has decided to simply re-run his Nobody Wants To Work Anymore column to save himself the time and effort…

Oh no! Unread email continues to exist

WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was…

“How do we make baseball more exciting?” asks only sport with mandatory stretch break

NEW YORK – This weekend, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred held an emergency meeting to discuss how the league could reignite viewer interest in the intensely long and excruciatingly slow-paced sport …

Hockey Canada buries Lucky Sexual Assault Settlement under centre ice before start of World Juniors

EDMONTON – In an effort to bring a little luck to our boys, Hockey Canada has revealed they had the ice maintenance crew at Rogers Place bury a lucky confidential sexual assault settlement …

10 craziest things the FBI found in Trump’s Mar-A-Lago estate

In the wake of the FBI’s raid into his private quarters at the Mar-A-Lago resort, there are many questions to be answered about what the investigation means for Donald Trump, the government…

FBI confirms everything seized in Mar-a-Lago raid very, very sticky

PALM BEACH, FL – FBI agents who recently participated in the raid on former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort have revealed to the press that while they are still sifting through the relevance …

Being held accountable by federal government clear proof that Trump is not a real billionaire

Palm Beach, FL – The FBI enforcing a search warrant on his Mar-A-Lago estate as a result of a DOJ investigation into his behaviour has made it abundantly clear that Donald Trump is not the …

“I grew too many and couldn’t possibly finish them all,” says neighbour handing you box of fingernails

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Danielle Smith clarifies that it’s Alberta first, Saskatchewan second, New Brunswick last

EDMONTON – Running for leader of the UCP on a platform of ‘Alberta First’ Danielle Smith took time today to give reporters her clear ranking of the Canadian provinces. “Ma…