Edmonton man furious he actually does know ‘Steve from Toronto’ American acquaintance just asked about
CANCUN – Local man Garth Evers was beside himself to discover he actually does know the ‘Steve from Toronto’ this American he just met on vacation inquired about. “When he…
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …
BREAKING: Jesus seeks new brand management
GOLGOTHA – After a tumultuous, decades-long relationship with Evangelical Christians, Jesus H. Christ finally announced He is seeking bids for new brand management. The announcement arrived…
Summer fun: Top five Edmonton patios to inhale exhaust
Summer in Edmonton – synonymous with warmth, sunshine, and idling vehicles. To help you take full advantage of this season, we rank the best patios for maximal exhaust exposure. 1. Julio’s …
Back To The Future remake sees Marty go back to 1992, buy house
HOLLYWOOD, CA – A newly-announced reboot of the classic 80s sci-fi comedy Back To The Future will reportedly center on a teen who travels back 30 years to 1992, and purchases a home for und…
Home prices still at levels experts call “Oh Fuck Me”
VANCOUVER – Despite early indications some Canadian housing markets may be cooling, benchmark home prices remain well within the threshold experts call “oh fuck me”. Whether prices will de…
Fairy tale wedding? This ceremony was attacked by wolves
VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weeke…
Invasive spoon found in bedroom
CALGARY – According to reports from the Whittaker household, a spoon has been found on a bedroom nightstand despite the utensil’s natural kitchen habitat being well over a dozen steps away. “Whil…
To stop inflation making things more expensive, Bank of Canada going to make different things more expensive
OTTAWA – To help combat record-high inflation and bring some relief to financially squeezed Canadians, The Bank of Canada announced Wednesday that they would hike the key interest rate for …
