Danielle Smith’s work as premier revealed to be 90% interfering in COVID prosecutions, 10% cowboy hat photo ops
EDMONTON – Following recent revelations, observers have determined that Danielle Smith’s official calendar of duties as Alberta’s Premier consists entirely of 90% inappropriately communicat…
STUDY: You’re the only uggo in this Pilates class
SWITZERLAND – A new study published in Nature has confirmed what scientists have long suspected — in this Pilates class, you are the only uggo. Scientists conducted the seconds-long experiment t…
Canada announces tax-free grocery savings account
OTTAWA – As part of their latest budget, the Trudeau Liberals have announced an additional measure to help financially squeezed Canadians: a new tax free savings account to help Canadians s…
Highlights of the Liberal’s 2023 Budget
Holy motherfucking shit it’s Budget season! The time when the government announces how it will spend all our money and we all pretend to understand the difference between the debt and the d…
Crazy! Latest mass shooting ridiculously blamed on easy access to things that shoot
U.S.A. – In another ‘you have to read it to believe it’ situation, a few wacky experts are blaming the latest mass shooting on the shooter’s easy access to things that shoot. Seriously! I mean, w…
Loblaws CEO blames record breaking profits on newfound popularity of food
Toronto, ON – Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. has recently explained to politicians on Parliament Hill that his record-breaking profits during difficult economic times are only due to Canadian…
Motherfucking genius blows everyone’s minds by informing them that the book was better
ST. JOHN’S – Duke Street resident Sheila Reynolds caused a stir today, after declaring that the recent Oscar-winning film Women Talking was an inferior product when compared to the novel on…
NHL fan singing national anthem, honouring soldier with standing ovation thinks Pride Nights are too political
TORONTO – As the debate rages over NHL players refusing to wear Pride jerseys a number of fans have come forward and said they think the Pride Nights are an unwelcome injection of politics …
Local man totally enthusiastic about using new paper straw until about ¾ of the way through his drink
KITCHENER – Local carpenter and casual environmentalist Kai Ambrose has announced he’s really excited about using a disposable, paper straw for his recently purchased soft drink, blissfully unawa…
Alarming new IPCC report released and you’ve already stopped reading this headline
GENEVA – This week (or maybe it was last week, or the week before, it doesn’t really matter) the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released their latest report detailing the ho…
