WASHINGTON D.C. – With representatives of the Israeli government, as well as Hamas, meeting to discuss a potential U.S.-brokered peace, delegates have reportedly been surprised to find that…
World
Israel reports they have found “missing” Greta Thunberg safe and invited her for fun, mandatory sleepover
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL – The government of Israel reports that it has intercepted a flotilla of boats, containing among others Greta Thunberg, which was in fact en route for a long-scheduled slee…
Riyadh Comedy Festival opens with up-and-coming executioner
RIYADH, KSA – As Saudi Arabia’s new comedy festival welcomes talent from around the world, local executioner Imad Usman is excited for the opportunity to perform in front of larger audiences. “I…
Netanyahu calls Canadian recognition of Palestine the worst thing anyone has ever done to Palestine
NEW YORK – In a speech before the UN General Assembly, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu declared that Canada officially recognizing Palestine as a state is worse than anything else he could im…
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory …
Putin assures world no one evil has ever tried to invade Poland
MOSCOW – After Russian drones were intercepted inside Polish airspace, Russian President Vladimir Putin issued a statement assuring the world that no evil person throughout history has ever…
Trump demands 20% gratuity for selling Ukraine to Putin
ANCHORAGE, AK – International political observers are stunned today after U.S. President Donald Trump made the controversial move of asking Russian President Vladimir Putin for a 20% gratui…
Western World to recognize Palestine as a state in September if it’s still there
PARIS/LONDON/OTTAWA – The governments of France, the UK and Canada have said they will do what’s morally right and recognize Palestine’s right to exist as a nation as early as September, pr…
Canada: “We are prepared to issue as many empty statements as necessary to stop this genocide”
OTTAWA – Two months after issuing one statement promising “concrete actions” if Israel did not stop intentionally starving Palestinians in Gaza, Canada has joined with 24 other nations to i…
Canada signs deal with EU on defence, entry to Eurovision
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In addition to signing a strategic partnership with the European Union, Prime Minister Mark Carney has brokered a far more important deal allowing Canada to finally take…
