WASHINGTON, DC — Republican primary candidate Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he will name fired Hewlett Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina as his running mate, moments before she drove his cam…
U.S.
Cruz, Kasich announce joint plan to go back in time to stop Donald Trump from being born
WASHINGTON, D.C. — GOP Presidential Candidates Ted (“Teddy”) Cruz and John (“Johnny”) Kasich have announced that they will put aside their differences in order to travel back in time and st…
Mississippi boundaries redrawn to officially relocate state to the wrong side of history
JACKSON, MISS. – Following the passage of a bill containing sweeping anti-LGBTQ legislation, Mississippi lawmakers have voted to relocate the state to the wrong side of history, just to mak…
Ted Cruz: No woman should be punished for getting an abortion before she goes to hell
MADISON — GOP candidate Ted Cruz has condemned Donald Trump’s recent statements that women who have abortions should face legal penalties, and emphasized that no woman should be punished for this…
Anonymous accuses dozens of people of being Donald Trump
NEW YORK — Just days after declaring “total war” on GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, hacker collective Anonymous has wasted no time in accusing dozens of private citizens around the world of b…
‘GOP polls that dismissed Trump were laughable’ says Democrat whose polls dismiss Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. – While mocking 2015 polls that said Donald Trump couldn’t possibly win the GOP nomination, DNC political operative Colin McCallum maintained that his own internal polls sh…
Fiorina endorses Cruz in blatant act of sabotage
MIAMI – Speaking at a campaign rally in Florida this week, former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) for the party’s nomination, in what experts are calling “…
Donald Trump starts feud with Donald Trump
NEW YORK – Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself embroiled in another feud, this time with Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump. “Who is he? Comes from a fa…
Ted Cruz caught Google searching “How to move back to Canada” in wake of Super Tuesday results
HOUSTON, TEXAS — Following Donald Trump’s grab in yesterday’s Super Tuesday primaries, Texas Senator and Republican presidential contender Ted Cruz accidentally revealed his interest in imm…
Dropped out GOP candidates get together for last big fearmonger party
Washington D.C. – Before they went their separate ways the recently resigned Republican Presidential candidates all met up for a final chance to stoke the fires of irrational fear and hate.…
