OTTAWA — According to a report by the Conservative government, over 12,000 federal public servants have tested positive for opinions. All civil servants must be tested for all forms of view…
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Mulcair to balance budget with coupons he’s been saving
BRANTFORD — NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair claims he will balance the budget while launching new government programs during an economic downturn by using his extensive collection of coupons and …
Conservatives claim Canada only country in the world to successfully deny deficit
OTTAWA – Despite a report from the Parliamentary Budget Officer indicating that the nation’s budget will not be balanced, the Conservatives triumphantly announced today that Canada is the f…
Joe Oliver still scheduled to speak at tree house, no girls allowed
TORONTO — Conservative Finance Minister Joe Oliver will appear at an elite all-boys tree house club to woo supporters after cancelling a speech at a men-only club. “Mr. Oliver will st…
Scouts cautioned not to feed wild animals hungry for votes
COMOX, BC — Scouts Canada have reminded all members that they should never approach or feed wild politicians. The announcement comes after a close call for three scouts who came very near t…
Harper defends current chief of staff stating he’s at least a year away from prosecution
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper defended his current chief of staff’s involvement in the Duffy affair stating that he’s still got plenty of time before authorities catch up to him. H…
Mulcair hastily flushes pot legislation down toilet after parents come home early
OTTAWA – After being surprised by his parents early arrival, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair was forced to dispose of his draft for a marijuana legalization bill. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” said Mulcair…
Public servant fired for standing near election sign
OTTAWA — Making good on the promise to crack down on public servants participating in politics, the Department of Justice has fired a federal civil servant for standing too close to an elec…
Chris Alexander hosts annual draw to see which ethnic group not welcome in Canada
OTTAWA – In one of the most glamorous events of Ottawa’s annual social calendar, Immigration minister Chris Alexander has chosen by lottery which ethnic group will no longer be welcome in C…
Liberal Party offers all platinum donors ‘night of passion’ with Justin Trudeau
Ottawa – In a fundraising email sent over the weekend, Liberal Party revenue officer Stephen Bronfman promised every donor who contributed over $1000.00 a lengthy and sensual one on one mee…
