TORONTO – As part of the province’s stage three reopening protocol, a local gay bar has installed plexiglass to protect patrons against an influx of straight women. “Safety is our top priority,” …
LGBTQ
Gay Man hospitalized for Drag Race Exhaustion
VANCOUVER – A local man has been hospitalized for what medical professionals are calling “a severe case of DRE: Drag Race Exhaustion”. Paramedics were reportedly called in after…
FDA eases restrictions on gay blood donors unless they’re hot
SILVER SPRING, MD – In the face of an urgent need for blood donations, the Food and Drug Administration has revised its blood donor guidelines to allow gay men to donate so long as they are…
Corporations disappointed they won’t be able to commodify queer culture this year
TORONTO – In an effort to stop the spread of COVID-19, Toronto Pride has been cancelled and corporations are scrambling to figure out how they can best commodify queer culture this year. “P…
Staples releases limited edition homosexual agendas
CALGARY – Sales have skyrocketed for Staples Business Depot after the release of a limited-edition homosexual agenda. “I finally feel so organized,” said Brian Rolands, 34, while running hi…
Andrew Scheer: “The only reason I never attend Pride is because I’m always trapped under overturned tractors”
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer is defending himself against the charge that he purposely avoids attending Pride, stating that the only reason he does not attend these parades an…
Gender-affirming surgery “not what God intended,” says woman with breast implants
WATERLOO, ON – A local woman has come out firmly against the use of gender-affirming surgery, calling on transgender people to ‘love your body the way God made it,’ even though she is a frequen…
Pride weekend leaves local father struggling to accept that his bank is gay
TORONTO – In the wake of Pride weekend celebrations, Canada’s LGBTQ communities are entering the week with a renewed sense of solidarity and purpose. But the events of the weekend have also left …
Doug Ford to walk in Pride Parade only if Toronto Police allowed to beat path of gays in his way
TORONTO – Performing a symbolic act of support for the LGBT+ community, Ontario Premier designate, Doug Ford, says he will walk in Toronto’s Pride Parade on June 23rd but only if the Toront…
Study: Children raised by LGBTQ parents less likely to be complete accidents
LONDON, ON: Researchers at Western University have published a new study that claims LGBTQ parents are less likely to have children by accident. The study surveyed one hundred parents and guardia…