TORONTO, ON- A Toronto resident returned home today to a sure sign that he forgot to lock his front door; a retail weed store run out of his apartment. “When I saw all the kids lined up in the ha…
Jokes on you, Russia! Trudeau doesn’t have to visit you to appropriate your culture.
So, you in the Kremlin thought you were safe from cringe-inducing action by Justin Trudeau just because you banned him from the country? Well, unfortunately for you, Canada has been a superpower …
We found Toronto’s cheapest apartment: Jail!
You’ve heard of micro condos and capsule hotels, but have you heard about incarceration? Toronto South Detention Centre is listing 1000s of one-bedroom/bathroom apartments for virtually no cost. …
Study: Self-isolation as close to retirement as millennials will ever get
TORONTO – A recent socio-economic study by the University of Toronto suggests that the COVID-19 pandemic has put many millennials in the most retirement home-like settings they will ever ex…
Jason Kenney vows to protect Alberta’s vulnerable COVID industry
EDMONTON – Alberta premier Jason Kenney announced today that his administration will work tirelessly to make sure the province’s booming COVID business stays prosperous. “If we allow the Tr…
Toronto unreal estate agent sells house for 5 kajillion dollars
TORONTO – On another great day for the local imaginary housing market, non-realtor Wendy Phan has sold a lovely 2 and a half story house for 3 kajillion dollars over the asking price. The p…
Which dating app should you go crawling back to during Omicron?
Remember how last year, you were so sure you were done with the toxicity of online dating and said you would put an honest to God effort into meeting someone in person this year instead of just t…
God announces long awaited Golden Girls reunion special
HEAVEN – After years of speculation from fans, God announced today the highly anticipated Golden Girls reunion special is now available for subscribers of Heaven. “We’ve been wa…
Dying uncle confesses the fish he caught wasn’t that big
CALGARY – In an effort to clear his conscience before he expires, terminally ill uncle of four Michael Grosberg has admitted to his family that the monster pike he claims to have caught in …
US Border reopening reunites hundreds of Americans with their fake girlfriends
BUFFALO, NY – With the US-Canadian land border reopened for fully vaccinated travelers, hundreds of Americans are excited to be reunited with the fictional significant others they made up t…