BARRIE, ON – After reading about the latest controversy surrounding the Catholic church, devout Satanist Damien Winslow is conflicted on whether or not his faith is doing enough of the devi…
Jason Kenney refuses to remove John A. MacDonald poster from bedroom
EDMONTON, AB- Despite continuous public outcry and numerous petitions, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney remains adamant that he will not have a poster depicting Sir John A. MacDonald taken down from …
Ontario to allow non-recreational camping trips
QUEEN’S PARK – As part of the province’s reopening plan, the Ontario government announced last week that Ontarians will be allowed to go camping this summer, as long as the trip…
Trudeau hopes no one notices him having a three-dose summer
OTTAWA – While trying to keep Canadians optimistic about his plan for a “one-dose summer”, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is also doing his best to avoid being called out for having already …
Experts advise melting down your Golden Globes to make an Oscar
LOS ANGELES, CA – With Tom Cruise returning his Golden Globe awards over allegations of a lack of diversity and ethics at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, PR professionals recommend…
Biden pulls troops out of Afghanistan to keep them fresh for next unwinnable war
WASHINGTON, DC – US President Joe Biden announced his administration is preparing to reduce the American military’s presence in Afghanistan, so that the armed forces can prepare for the nat…
Oscar paparazzi getting great shots of their own laptops
LOS ANGELES, CA – The 93rd Academy Awards are underway, and the socially distanced press is currently getting some great shots of the famous attendees when they appear onscreen during the l…
Ford: “3rd wave’s the charm!”
QUEEN’S PARK – While announcing this week’s province-wide shutdown, Ontario Premier Doug Ford added that he is positive his administration is close to solving the current health…
79-year old with fake ID trying to keep it cool in vaccination line
Barrie, ON – Local septuagenarian Elise Reede is reportedly trying to avoid drawing attention to her forged ID that says she’s 80 years old while she waits to receive a COVID vaccination. “…
Report: Guinness Book of World Records going to be extra bleak this year
LONDON, UK – An early preview of the 2021 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records suggests that the reference book will be much more grim than previous volumes, owing to the nature of…
