Barrie, ON – Local septuagenarian Elise Reede is reportedly trying to avoid drawing attention to her forged ID that says she’s 80 years old while she waits to receive a COVID vaccination. “…
Report: Guinness Book of World Records going to be extra bleak this year
LONDON, UK – An early preview of the 2021 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records suggests that the reference book will be much more grim than previous volumes, owing to the nature of…
Ford vows to stop COVID by 7th wave
TORONTO – Last week, Ontario premier Doug Ford announced that his administration is committed to bringing the COVID-19 situation under control by no later than the 7th major spike in cases.…
Super Bowl to rerun old ads and see if anyone notices
TAMPA, FL – With a significant number of advertisers dropping out of this year’s sparsely-attended Super Bowl, the NFL has announced on Sunday that they will fill the unused TV spots …
Experts baffled after so many lives enriched by Reddit
NATIONWIDE – Following the success of the Gamestop short-squeeze largely instigated by the r/wallstreetbets subreddit, many experts are amazed to witness the website acting as a positive fo…
COVID restrictions forces billionaires to play non-human version of chess
MONTENEGRO – With pandemic restrictions putting strict limits on the size of gatherings, many plutocrats around the world are finding they must now play chess with the original pieces, as o…
Report: Praying Mantises not as good at Kung Fu as legends claim
TORONTO, ON – A new study from the University of Toronto’s Centre for Martial Arts Research is suggesting that the long-held belief that mantis style kung fu was learned from watching actua…
COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines
NATIONWIDE – With the current rollout beginning for the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, many people across the country are excited about the chance to have bitter arguments about the safety and ef…
Office Christmas Party cancellation leaves local man with nowhere to make drunken fool of himself
CALGARY – With his firm forgoing plans for the usual Christmas party this year due to the current pandemic, paralegal Will Sanchez is worried that he will have nowhere to disgrace himself i…
Black Friday shoppers prepare for outdoor bloodbath this year
CANADA – With the COVID-19 pandemic forcing retail locations across the country to limit the number of customers inside, many shoppers hoping to take advantage of Black Friday deals are get…
