LONDON, UK – An early preview of the 2021 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records suggests that the reference book will be much more grim than previous volumes, owing to the nature of the previous year.
“Through basically all of 2020, we basically had no applications for any new records since most of the fun ones can easily become superspreader events,” said editor Liam McLean. “As a result, we had to fill the extra space some new records created in 2020, such as the longest cry for help on social media, longest awkward silence on a Zoom call, and longest time spent crying off of social media.”
McLean elaborated, “We tried to make the record section more positive by pointing out that this isn’t even the world’s deadliest pandemic. I mean, it’s pretty bad but it’s no Black Death.”
While Guinness initially tried to adjust their process to confirm the fun records it hasn’t been easy. “At first we tried to do as much record validation as possible over platforms such as Zoom,” McLean explained. “Then we had an applicant going for the bowling ball juggling record turn out to be juggling beach balls painted black.”
“After that, we weren’t able to look at a picture of giant asparagus without wondering if it might just be a perspective trick.”
Despite not being projected to sell as many copies as previous years, many are giving support for Guinness World Records’ adjusted approach to their operation. “It’s good to see an organization that inadvertently encourages readers to try and clip as many clothespins to their face as possible is concerned about safety. Plus, I think the record for most masks worn at once is actually amazing!” said record holder Glen Owens, who also expressed his gratitude that his record of most high fives given in one day is now safe for a year.
At press time, Guinness World Records has released a statement asking for readers to stop sending them pictures of possibly the world’s biggest sourdough bread, stating that like the rest of the world, they do not care.