IT’S SIMPLE! How to book your vaccine using 8 websites, 5 booking IDs, a decoder ring, and the divine providence of Christ Vaccine appointments are opening up for Ontarians 18+! We know you might…
FUN? This online escape room is just some guy’s poetry portfolio
WINNIPEG – A local librarian’s attempt to jump on the Google Docs-based “escape room” trend was revealed to be a shallow front to distribute his poetry portfolio. As the pandemic forced loc…
I got every covid vaccine. Here’s how they all taste.
The government has approved several COVID vaccines for widespread use, and lots of us are debating which one we should get. Worry no longer, because I did the dirty work for you: I got my hands o…
Oh No: This COVID hotel has themed rooms
Need yet another reason to postpone travel during this once-in-a-century global pandemic? This quarantine hotel has you covered – by mandating themed rooms for all international arrivals! T…
Number of Astrology apps on woman’s phone reaches critical mass
BURNABY, BC – A local woman’s interest in her natal chart recently turned dangerous when the number of astrology apps on her phone reached critical mass. Skye Davis, 23, reported recently t…
OPINION: The only thing better than a good comic book movie is watching different recuts of a bad comic book movie over and over again until I die
By Zack Snyder I’m what you might call a renaissance man. I love comics and movies, so much so that I insist on drawing the entire third act of all of my comic films digitally in post. Good comic…
OPINION: I didn’t even want to go outside until the government told me not to
By: Pierre Gagnon, Montreal resident As a wave of new lockdowns and curfews hit Canadians once more, I find myself resigned to living, working, and existing solely in my apartment. In the past, I…
Man without savings account loves to discuss his concerns about the economy
CALGARY – A local man without a savings account has discovered a new passion for ripping on the nation’s complicated, finely balanced economy. “These are dark times for investors and financ…
Aunt Ruth to finally take COVID seriously now that she knows dogs can catch it
NIAGARA – Reports from within your family indicate a huge burden was lifted today, as sources indicate that Aunt Ruth finally plans to take COVID seriously solely for the wellness of her th…
America’s neo-nazis ask for patience and space to grieve downfall of racist dictator
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the results of the 2020 election settle in, America’s neo-nazi community is asking for time and space to grieve the downfall of their beloved racist dictator, Donald Tr…