VANCOUVER – Marine researchers were initially happy to report that three critically endangered killer whales have recently become pregnant all at the same time, until further tests revealed…
Justin Trudeau puts hat and sunglasses on corpse of electoral reform so no one can tell it’s still dead
AURORA, ONT. – While the Liberals and Conservatives remain neck-and-neck in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was at pains to convince Canadians that electoral reform is not a moulde…
Workgroup really wishes Gavin and Janice would stop flirting in the Google Doc
VICTORIA – Employees of Hendersin Inc. are getting extremely uncomfortable at the increasingly flirtatious amendments being made by two of their coworkers to a group Google Doc. “I have not…
BC government reluctantly admits plan to end pandemic by pretending pandemic had ended hasn’t ended pandemic
VICTORIA – B.C. Premier John Horgan and Provincial Health Officer Doctor Bonnie Henry admitted this week that what they believed to be a foolproof plan of assuming the pandemic was over on …
Cutting edge Facebook app lets you attend VR-meetings that should’ve been e-mails
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensi…
Conservatives fight Justin Trudeau’s sex appeal with whatever the hell this is
OTTAWA – Leery of another election in which Justin Trudeau coasts by on his attractiveness, the Conservatives are fighting the PM’s fire looks with this utterly baffling photo of Erin O’Too…
Alberta’s COVID restrictions to continue for six more weeks after Jason Kenney sees his shadow
EDMONTON – Alberta’s contentious plan to lift all its COVID restrictions in the middle of a new wave of infections brought on by the Delta variant has been postponed for six weeks after Pre…
“Mysterious fog nothing to worry about,” says weatherman who died 20 years ago
DEEPWATER COVE, B.C. – Residents of Deepwater Cove are being reassured by Milo Saunders, a local meteorologist who was consistently voted the most trusted man in town until his untimely dea…
Vancouver offers Stanley Park coyotes one jogger a year as tribute
VANCOUVER – Acknowledging the failure of typical animal control measures to quell a spate of violent coyote attacks over the last few months in Stanley Park, the City of Vancouver has decid…
Pickup trucks distance selves from Jason Kenney to maintain popularity
EDMONTON – After the publication of several news articles questioning the safety and utility of pickup trucks, Jason Kenney has publicly and loudly given his support to the large, popular v…
