VICTORIA – Employees of Hendersin Inc. are getting extremely uncomfortable at the increasingly flirtatious amendments being made by two of their coworkers to a group Google Doc.
“I have nothing against incipient romance,” said their coworker Brian Forester, “but oh my god, please keep it out of my computer. My computer. Where I look at my porn.”
The history of the flirtation can be seen by examining the revision history of the doc, which has gradually shifted from being primarily a brainstorming tool for employees to add suggestions to increase morale and productivity to being a place where Janice tells Gavin that the restaurant he suggested yesterday was so yummy and Gavin tells Janice that the plant seeds she gave him are sprouting beautifully.
“We’ve had to open a new doc, we call it “Flirting,” it’s the only place we can actually get work done now,” said Irene Kane, Janice and Gavin’s boss.
“If they were being explicit, it would be so much better, that would be them creating a hostile workplace and they could be reprimanded or fired for that. But there’s no avenue of redress for two people creating a saccharine workplace with just a hint of sexual tension,” Kane explained.
“I mean, I can’t let go of two otherwise competent workers just because they keep describing their perfectly innocent dreams to each other and responding ‘lol, that’s so random :),’” said Kane.
“HR explicitly told me that until a winking emoticon is used, there’s nothing to be done.”
At press time, Janice and Gavin were arguing over who would log off first.