Arguably no generation has been afforded as many advantages as millennials. Education, technology, and societal advances should be making it easier than ever to get ahead. So why can’t millennial…
Man suffering no adverse effects one month after deciding not to watch “Iron Fist”
ELORA, ON – In a promising case that has the scientific community cautiously optimistic, local man Kyle Redding appears to be no worse off for his decision not to watch Marvel’s Netfl…
Beloved character ‘Alex Jones’ jumps shark with child custody storyline
DALLAS, TX – In a jarring plot twist, beloved series InfoWars has locked its star character “Alex Jones” in a bitter legal battle for custody of his son and two daughters for the past several; ep…
EDITORIAL by Eric Trump: “Why did Russia compromise everyone but me?”
Hello website. As you may know, I am Eric Trump and I appear regularly in photographs with the Trump family, because I am in it. I have a father AND a brother named Donald Trump and one of them –…
Disney’s animatronic Trump tragically seems to understand what it is
ORLANDO, FL – Walt Disney World’s “Hall of Presidents” exhibit has temporarily closed for the addition of its 45th animatronic president, which will join mechanical representations of state…
EDITORIAL by Conservative Blonde Lady Pundit 64B: “You think you’re such special snowflakes because you weren’t grown in a lab”
As a leading Conservative Blonde Lady Pundit in this divided political climate, I get a lot of flack from commie haters and sensitive social justice warriors. And I’ve got a message for the…
Famine demands Colin Kaepernick “stick to sports”
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA- In response to news that NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been instrumental in securing a 60-ton cargo jet and over $1 million in aid to fight the ongoing famine in Somali…
Upcoming movie somehow not based on, or sequel to, anything
LOS ANGELES, CA – Industry and critical circles were thrown into an uproar this week by an announcement that a major motion picture scheduled to hit theatres later this year will not be based on …
Local man working ass off to shoehorn one of his 3 memes into internet argument
BRANDON, MB – An online argument about the existence of the gender wage gap reportedly has one of the participants, avid twitter user Adam Campbell, working his absolute ass off to incorpor…
Confirmed: It’s those damn kids again
COLLINGWOOD ON – A report released earlier today by a think tank of local curmudgeons, crabs and cranks has sadly confirmed what many in the curmudgeon community already knew: It’s those damn kid…