NEW YORK – After Monday’s announcement that the NHL would not be sending players to Pyeongchang for the next Olympic games, Sidney Crosby immediately began training for Canada’s national lu…
All-white, all-male reboot of “Hidden Figures” in the works
LOS ANGELES – Production has begun on an all white, male reboot of the hit 2016 movie Hidden Figures. The movie, titled simply, Figures, will tell the story of three caucasian men who don’t…
Young Syrian girl signs seven-figure advance for posthumous diary
Palmyra, Syria – Nilu Muhammed, a 12-year-old living in war-torn Syria, has garnered a multi-million dollar advance for a diary she keeps hidden under the rubble she sleeps on. “An advance …
BREAKING: Statue of Liberty has begun fading from old photographs
NEW YORK – After Donald Trump signed an executive order banning all immigrants and refugees from several Muslim countries, sources across the country are reporting that the Statue of Libert…
McDonald’s unveils all-day breakfast in Canada to stress-test healthcare system
TORONTO – McDonald’s Canada announced today that it will begin serving all-day breakfast in order to stress-test the country’s socialized healthcare system. The menu will feature a selectio…
Can you pass this “Alternative Facts” Game of Thrones quiz?
Do you have what it takes to journey through the Seven Kingdoms armed only with alternative facts? Take this quiz to find out! Image credits: 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8…
Thousands of Canadian women bravely enter oppressive country ruled by despot
Yesterday thousands of Canadian women decided to leave the comfort of their feminist utopia and crossed the border into a newly minted foothold of fascism. “In Canada we take it for granted that …
America opts for open-casket inauguration
WASHINGTON DC – As per America’s wishes, today’s presidential inauguration ceremony will be open-casket. Funeral Director Kellyanne Conway decided to have the public viewing so that the wor…
Local woman stuck in endless “lather, rinse, repeat” recursive hair-washing loop
SHERBROOKE, QC – Closely following the instructions on a bottle of Garnier Fructis Volume Extend Fortifying shampoo that reads “lather, rinse, repeat,” a local woman is stuck in a never-end…
7 musicals that should have more cats in them and 1 that shouldn’t
With the immense mainstream popularity of shows like ‘Book of Mormon’ and now ‘Hamilton,’ it seems we may be entering another golden age of musicals. But all is not perfect on Broadway. Crafting …