VANCOUVER – A BC Conservative Party candidate decided to reach out to electors in the hotly contested Vancouver-Point Grey Riding by canvassing Wreck Beach, a popular destination for nudist…
New immigrants fitting into Canada better than local man’s dumbass neighbour
MEDICINE HAT, AB – Local man Cameron Ruble has come out in favour of a more inclusive immigration policy, as the newcomers appear to be fitting into his community better than his dumbass ne…
MFA student in 7th year realizes he’s living the plot of Groundhog Day
Kingston, ON – While watching the film Groundhog Day in his one bedroom apartment on Princess Street, Queen’s University MFA Candidate Charles Rumple stumbled upon the realization that he t…
Surrey, BC to name Burning Garbage Bag city’s official bird
Surrey, BC – City officials in Surrey, British Columbia have announced that they plan on designating a Burning Garbage Bag as the city’s official bird. Although the decision was made fairly…
Season pass to Whistler/Blackcomb discounted to blood sacrifice, eternal damnation, 12 white rhino horns
Whistler, BC — In a bid to make their ski hill more accessible, Whistler/Blackcomb has decided to lower the price of their season pass from three kidneys, four virgins, and the head of a we…
Man with devil sticks and toe-shoes undermines gravitas of local rally
Comox, British Columbia – Organizers of a local rally to protect farmland in Parksville from developers were dismayed this weekend to find their event undermined by the presence of a man wi…
Winnipeg Jets-San Jose Sharks rivalry heats up over a girl named Maria
SAN JOSE- The San Jose Sharks-Winnipeg Jets rivalry has hit a fever pitch after the Jets’ Mark Scheifele accidentally fell in love with Maria Burns – the enchanting sister of Sharks’ Brent Burns.…
Vancouver gang violence spikes as Aquabus, False Creek Ferry descend into turf war
VANCOUVER – Gang violence in the coastal city of Vancouver has risen sharply in recent weeks due to a turf war between two rival miniature ferry companies: False Creek Ferries and Aquabus. …
Editorial: Why must humans enjoy Fall and ignore signs of death all around them
By: A Maple Tree It is with great sadness that I, Yggdrasil King of the Maples, reach out to you. I recognize that this letter must come as a shock. Many of you leg walkers have been deceived int…
Whistler named most livable city in Australia
Whistler, BC – Canadian resort town Whistler was recently named the most livable city in Australia beating out several other prominent Australian cities in a poll conducted by the publication The…