NEWMARKET, ON – A local straight couple is seeking a “fun-loving girl” to join them for a night of relentless disagreements capped off with uninspired boinking. Kristy Walker, 24, and her boyfrie…
“WHAT’S IN THE VACCINE?” says man who doesn’t know what’s in his fridge
Barrie, ON – A local man unaware of the contents of his own refrigerator is demanding to know what is in the COVID-19 vaccine. Justin Travers, 34, is extremely concerned about the contents of the…
Local man makes New Year’s Resolution not to make New Year’s Resolutions, fails
SASKATOON, SK – A local man who resolved not to make any New Year’s resolutions for 2021 has already failed to follow through. Will Knotts, 33, has been historically unlucky with his New Ye…
Local Jewish family concerned whether Chinese restaurants will be open for Christmas
THORNHILL, ON – With Ontario set to enter another lockdown this week, a local Jewish family is concerned about the pandemic’s potential impact on one of Judaism’s most cherished Christmas customs…
Op-Ed: Dr. Jill, kiddo, a bit of advice here: drop the “Biden”
by Joe Weitzmann Madame First Lady — Dr. Jill— kiddo: a bit of advice on what may seem like a small but I think is a not unimportant matter. Drop the “Biden.” Take it from me, a white man old eno…
Woman dead for three days told she’s “probably just stressed” by doctor
BARRIE, ON – Olivia Short, a local woman diagnosed as “probably just stressed” by her doctor, has turned out to have already been dead for three days. Olivia “Liv” Short, 29, had already been dec…