Cornwall, Prince Edward Island – Terry and Linda Haddad say their annual New Year’s tradition of booking a sale on an all inclusive resort was hampered this year when they woke up to news that the United States had invaded Venezuela and abducted their president.
“We thought we’d take Sunwing somewhere warm for March Break but then we heard the news about Nicolas Maduro. Obviously, we’re not planning a vacation to Venezuela but now the Americans are talking about doing the same to Mexico and Cuba. And that’s where the cheapest resorts are.”
Haddad says he and Linda canceled their annual Florida vacation after the US president started talking about making Canada the 51st state.
“There’s no way Disney is getting our money this year,” Linda Haddad added. “Besides, I don’t want to go to the Magic Kingdom just to see ICE agents swarm the It’s a Small World ride.”
The Haddads are also concerned that traveling to Cuba or Mexico would happen in the middle of a US forced regime change.
“I asked the Cuban resort’s Facebook group if the staff needs any of the stuff we normally bring down like children’s medicine or toiletries. They said they just need weapons to defend themselves with,” Terry said, noting that his family has discussed if their budget allows for both a beach vacation and helping the resort staff fund an anti-Imperialist insurgency.
The Haddads also looked into other Caribbean destinations but worried about taking an excursion on a catamaran and getting mistaken by US Secretary of Defence WAR Pete Hegseth for a Venezuelan fishing boat.
“We looked into going to Europe but it seems like the European NATO countries are preparing to be attacked by Russia. Or the United States. Whomever fires first.”
The Haddads are also considering cancelling their March break vacation and instead taking a trip somewhere within Canada in the summer.
“I think the last place not impacted by rising geopolitical tensions is the Maldives and those islands are sinking so we’d better go right quick,” said Terry Haddad. “Never thought I’d have to be an expert on global security just to go to the beach.”
“We were thinking of taking a trip perhaps to Newfoundland or Vancouver Island. We’re just concerned that by summer, Trump will abduct Mark Carney and install Dominic Leblanc. And that’s really gonna mess up our travel plans,” Linda Haddad said.
At press time, travel industry experts report that most accommodations in Canada are already booked for the summer.
