VANCOUVER – Former B.C. Premier Christy Clark has opted not to run for leader of the federal Liberal Party, stating she intends to run for leader of the NDP when Jagmeet Singh steps down.
“For the past week the debate has been whether I’m a Liberal or a Conservative,” said Clark. “But the truth is I’ve been a lifelong member of the New Democratic Party. I’d show you proof but my membership card was recently burned in a fire after it was also stolen in a robbery and eaten by my dog.”
“I just… love government spending and social services,” she added through gritted teeth.
As Premier of B.C. Clark faced off against the provincial NDP in multiple elections and governed from the centre-right, with a focus on business relations and tax cuts. But she now says she only did all that to service the greater good of a socialist utopia.
“In order to get the electorate in B.C. to unite behind a vision for the province that prioritizes workers and the common good, they first had to see how bad things get when governed by a textbook neoliberal. So I begrudgingly took that role on. You’re welcome.”
Clark insists this is not just another example of her putting personal ambition over political principles.
“I would never put my desire to be a party leader over my beliefs, which as everyone knows now consist of raising the tax on the 1% and supporting union rights. I should mention though that I am also passionate about Quebec Sovereignty. Does anyone know when the Bloc Quebecois may be holding their next leadership race?”
