OTTAWA – After winning the Liberal Party leadership race in a blowout victory, Prime Minister Designate Mark Carney removed his lifelike rubber mask to reveal that he had been current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau all along.
“HAHAHAHAHA!” cackled the sitting PM, who had been mere days away from stepping down. “You all knew I was a master of disguise!!!”
“Me and Carney’s policies were basically the exact same! I gave you all the clues!” bellowed a deranged Trudeau as he ran around the arena evading security guards.
As Liberal Party insiders scoured their party’s charter to finds a rule specifically prohibiting impersonating a different human being in order to secure another future mandate, Trudeau continued his descent into obvious madness.
“WOO-HOOHOOHOOHOO! Did you really think this so-called ‘Mark Carney’ was going to swoop in and take the top seat without any questions?” Trudeau maniacally ranted, wiping sweat from his glistening forehead. “You’ll never get rid of me! I’m going to do five more SNC Lavalins! Four more years! Four more years!”
Several attendees weighed in on the baffling revelation. “He’s clearly having some kind of psychotic episode,” explained one party delegate, “but I’m still more enthusiastic about a disguised lunatic than Chrystia Freeland.”
Remarked another delegate, “So for months he’s been negotiating with Trump, running his cabinet, AND masquerading as the former governor of the Bank of Canada? And yet he still couldn’t get voting reform done in 9 years?”
Reached for comment, a bleary-eyed Mark Carney answered the phone at 2am local London time to exclaim, “You thought I was running for WHAT now?”
