NEW YORK CITY – The NHL has announced that every single metropolitan area with a population of at least 100,000 people in North America will soon be getting an NHL team, with the small exception of Quebec City.
“With revenue from ticket prices and tv deals flattening we’ve found a great way to make money that will certainly not have any impact on the quality of the game is expanding the number of franchises,” said Gary Bettman. “And that’s why we’re thrilled to announce that every large town will soon be getting their own team, whether they want one or not.”
“If you don’t have an NHL ready arena don’t worry. Just not speaking french or having a rich history of loving hockey is enough for us!”
The league unveiled its approximately 163 team expansion alongside proposed team names. Soon fans will be able to root for such teams as the Kansas City Missourans, the Kingston (ON) Big Frontenacs, the Kingston (Jamaica) Beaches, the Mexico City ‘we didn’t ask for this’ ers, the Dominican Republic All Inclusives and the Halifax Explosions.
When asked whether Quebec cities that met the 100,000 population requirement like Trois-Rivieres would be getting a team Bettman just laughed and laughed and laughed.
“Our job is to grow the game. And that means taking the NHL to hockey markets that aren’t ‘traditional.’ That don’t ‘know the game in and out.’ That ’emphatically do not like watching the sport of hockey.’ So that’s what we’re going to keep doing.”
The league also announced that Arizona will be getting two more teams, both of which will play out of Mullet Arena.
