WORLDWIDE – World leaders are calling for a pause on climate change talks this week, out of respect for the Amazon rainforest which is now almost constantly on fire.
“We were almost ready to discuss ending climate change, but it’s not an appropriate moment anymore,” said US President Biden. “First, it would be heartless to politicize this climate change tragedy. Second, is climate change even real? I can’t answer that right now, it’s not appropriate.”
The Amazon rainforest has already seen nine major fires in 2021 as of June and experts are saying it’s going to have an especially devastating fire season, which is now just a regular season we have every year.
“The Amazon would want us to focus on the good times, and not the times it was on fire – like 2020. And 2019. And 2018,” said a U.N. spokesperson before her mic was cut off.
Climate change discussions briefly increased when news broke that the Amazon rainforest is now emitting more carbon dioxide than it’s absorbing; these discussions were courteously shushed, as everyone agreed that trying to prevent a problem from causing further problems is disrespectful to those hurt by the problem.
“Even mentioning climate change is insulting to the memory of the rainforest, which isn’t even all-the-way dead yet,” exclaimed Brazil’s president Bolsonaro. “Besides, some of those fires I approved for agricultural reasons, and were not caused by climate change. Though you could argue they are causing climate change. If it was appropriate to argue that right now. Which it’s not.”
“Environmentalism is vitally important to Canadians,” said PM Trudeau, while shedding a single tear. “But so is being too polite to talk about it. Talking through difficult problems is the most disrespectful thing you can do when people are grieving. Ask any therapist.”
In a joint press conference, world leaders confirmed from behind their mourning veils that they’re only pausing climate change talks long enough for everyone to grieve the Amazon, like how everyone grieved the burning ocean so long they forgot about it.
“It’s a similar tactic we take with shootings here in America; there have been at least 300 mass shootings so far in 2021 and I honestly can’t remember if I’ve said much about any of them,” added Biden. “Out of respect.”
