OTTAWA – Rejecting accusations that he is similar in any way to President Donald Trump, Canada’s equivalent to Donald Trump Jr. released a statement denying his party is in any way far-right.
“There simply is no correlation between me and Daddy, I mean President Trump,” said Jr. “For one thing, he successfully won an election to become leader of his country and, I don’t know if you’ve looked at the polls lately, but that’s not looking too likely for me.”
“So please, stop saying I would be just like Trump just because we’re both Conservatives, used an inflammatory campaign slogan to become leaders of our party, and have resting ‘frothing with hate’ face.”
Many experts agree that O’Toole’s direct counterpart is not Trump, noting that in terms of social media trolling, charisma and nasal voice, he’s far closer to Trump’s eldest son.
“We are a centrist party, welcoming to all,” said O’Toole, who described his economic policy as “Canada First.”
At press time O’Toole could not explain why he suddenly grew a dark beard, was wearing a wig of slicked back hair and was constantly sniffing like someone who had just done a line in the back of a stretch limo.
