Breaking: Man kicked off basic income pilot project still can’t afford beer - The Beaverton

Breaking: Man kicked off basic income pilot project still can’t afford beer

Hamilton, ON – In the wake of the Ford government’s statement that it was bringing ‘’ back to Ontario by Labour Day, resident and, until this week, recipient of Ontario’s Pilot Project, Andrew Shaver has announced that he still will not be able to afford beer.

“Sure, saving a few bucks on a two-four sounds great,” said Shaver. “But without the money from the Basic Income Pilot Project I still won’t be able to afford to buy beer… or groceries… or gas… or clothes.”

“… Or really anything,” he added.

The basic income pilot project provided payments to 4,000 low-income people in several Ontario communities, including Hamilton, Brantford, Thunder Bay and Lindsay. Single participants received up to $16,989 a year while couples received up to $24,027. Every dollar earned from a job would result in a clawback of 50 cents from the benefit. By contrast the PC’s new strategy will allow low-income Ontario residents to remember that fun Laker Lager jingle from the 90s.

“Make-er a Laker, just a buck a beer!” sang Shaver when reminded of the fun jingle. “Yeah that was fun. I also won’t be able to afford school supplies for my daughter.”

Nevertheless, pollsters predict the move will be popular. “Your average Ontarian doesn’t want to see his money handed out to people that don’t want to work. He wants to see his money handed out to breweries so they can artificially lower the price of beer so that he can then save money when he goes to The Beer Store, even though the money he saves will likely be less than the amount of his taxes paid to breweries. It’s pretty brilliant politically speaking,” said CBC’s Eric Grenier.

“Also the fact that beer will likely not actually be any cheaper doesn’t seem to matter to people. They just love the idea of theoretically cheaper beer.”

The policy is also expected to be a hit with the majority of Ontarians that did not vote for Ford, as they will need all the booze they can get to survive the next four years.