Prince George, British Columbia — A comprehensive new study released by the University of Northern British Columbia this week has found that your cousin Steve would still really like to hang out soon, maybe get a drink some time.
The purpose of the psychological study was to determine whether longstanding statements made by Steve at family events were still accurate. The study evaluated the relative accuracy of statements such as “we should hang out soon”, “it’d be cool if you came to one of my shows” and “even if we just caught a flick or something. I’m easy!”
Over three years, the authors of the study were able to make conclusions based on Steve’s unprovoked text messages and chance encounters at the Tim Hortons in his end of town.
After years of being rebuked, the study concluded that your cousin Steve is still 93 % interested in spending time with you and would likely not accept “no” for an answer. A further conclusion of the study was that bringing up sports remains an effective way to change the subject.
