The federal Conservative government is set to pass a 359 page omnibus bill with a wide-range of new laws. Here are some highlights on what you might have missed:
1. 145 pages of “all work and no play makes Jack a dull citizen”
2. Giving $5 to Pauline Marois every time she says “referendum”
3. New Parliamentary disco ball
4. $1.2 million for chief of staff cloning program
5. $60,000 to publish Brad Butt’s new fantasy novel about Canadian voter fraud
6. All citizens shall henceforth refer to Finance Minister Joe Oliver as “The Poon King”, on pain of torture.
7. One billion dollars shall go towards the construction of gazebos in Huntsville, just for old time’s sake. Glory days!
8. $80,000 spent on sabers to rattle at Russia
9. Federal government to hire over 2,000 anti-scientists, open several scientific desearch stations in the arctic
10. $15,000 to compensate for lost ‘swear jar’ revenue now that Jim Flaherty is gone
11. $100,000 for Rona Ambrose’s harem
12. $10 million for “special” voting booths
13. $46 for a new rabbit for Pierre Poilievre when the Prime Minister told him that his old rabbit had to move to a farm in Quebec
