MONTREAL – Service on Montreal’s public transit network was entirely on schedule for half an hour on July 20th, earning the STM’s executives a 5% increase on their 2012 salaries.
“With the steady increase of ticket costs there is a greater expectation that services run on time,” said director-general Carl Desrosiers. “That’s why we’ve chosen to reward our executives for that magical 30 minutes.” This record performance for the STM was achieved between 10:15 and 10:45am, once delayed passengers had finally made it to work, during the construction holiday.
“I don’t remember ever running on time before so this is a big day for the bosses, for me, and for the city,” said an overjoyed Serge Hebert, who drives the 24 bus down Sherbrooke – except when it’s diverted, in which case he drives the 24 down de Maisonneuve, or St. Catherine, or Cavendish, or Saint Denis. “All of their team-building exercises, seminars, and meetings really paid off.”
The STM’s computers spontaneously shut down while processing the pay hike. Further announcements will be made when payment resumes.
