TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford’s government successfully passed a bill today allowing municipalities to create bike paths throughout the province so long as they lead to a wall with the …
Tag: transportation
New TTC initiative introduces personal fare inspector for every rider
Toronto, ON – In an effort to reduce fare evasion, the Toronto Transit Commission has introduced a new initiative: personal fare inspectors for every rider. Using a Tinder-style app, every TTC ri…
Shocking! This Millennial on CERB chose to spend it on goods, services
MISSISSAUGA — Kristin has been out of work since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, and has been receiving $2000 monthly payments as part of the Canada Emergency Response Benefit. She recently a…
Report: 78% of nation’s municipal infrastructure funds spent on single Montreal overpass
MONTREAL — An audit has revealed that tens of billions in infrastructure spending has been dedicated to repairing a single overpass along Autoroute 15 in Montreal. All other national infra…
TTC closed this weekend between wherever you are and wherever you want to go
TORONTO – Interfering with your plans, the Toronto Transit Commission has closed the subway, streetcar and/or bus line from the place you currently are right now, all the way to wherever it…
Toronto police neutralize knife wielding man on bus with barrage of words
TORONTO – A tense altercation with a man brandishing a knife on a TTC bus ended in a hail of words projected by Toronto Police. “It was one sentence after another until the man couldn’t take it a…
Husky reassures Saskatchewan environmentalists that wildlife will evolve to take 91 octane
CALGARY – Husky Energy has reassured environmental groups that local wildlife will evolve to refine and use the crude spilled in the North Saskatchewan River at a level above that of regula…
Modern day Rosa Parks refuses to give up blasting music on bus
VANCOUVER – Local man Kyle Seinkowiecz, 23, is being hailed as a modern day Rosa Parks after bravely refusing—despite all of his society’s disapproval—to turn down his headphones whil…
Financial capital of Canada pauses so streetcar driver can move tracks with big stick
TORONTO – The largest economic power in the nation came to a grinding halt this morning as Eddie, the streetcar operator, struggled to properly move the Dundas streetcar tracks using his la…
Montreal Grand Prix held in Toronto bike lane
TORONTO – After a last-minute change in venue, the biggest event in Canadian racing will be taking place in the bike lanes of Toronto. “Gaaah,” said Laura Yip, a local woman just trying to …