ENGLAND – After almost eighty years without a victory at Wimbledon, England has spent the last two days celebrating Andy Murray’s win by refusing to refer to him as anything other than “British.”
“I mean, yeah, he’s Scottish, technically, but Scotland’s basically England, innit,” said Jim Norman of London, “I mean, at this point everyone has pretty much forgotten about the centuries of war and oppression haven’t they? We’re all just one people, living together in harmony.”
Sources speculated Murray would celebrate his win in a traditional British manner, by wearing a kilt to a formal dinner of haggis and scotch, followed by a three hour bagpipe concert.
At press time, England was also really excited about Canada’s potential gold medal in Ice Hockey at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
