LOS ANGELES – Despite being known as a documentarian and art-house cinema producer, German filmmaker Werner Herzog has signed on to direct the latest installment of the Hangover franchise.
“I watched all three Hangover films last week. They put me into a creative frenzy.” Herzog said, “I have not slept in one hundred and three hours.”
The film is set to be filmed in the poorly-mapped and viper-infested Ucayali region of the Amazon over the course of the next nineteen months.
“The characters of Zachary Galifianakis, Edward Helms and Bradley Cooper find themselves on a raft that is drifting down the Amazon. They have no recollection of how they got there,” Herzog said, “They retrace their steps, massacring villages of natives, trying to discover the truth. All that they discover is mankind’s insatiable lust for domination.”
Fans of the franchise will be pleased to learn that Herzog has promised to bring many of his most tried-and-true directorial techniques to the project. Herzog has specifically stated that he plans to abuse and belittle Bradley Cooper until the man becomes a “towering inferno of rage and despair,” so that he can put on film the “emptiness that comes afterward”.
“If any of the actors attempt to leave the set, I will threaten them with murder,” Herzog added.
The film will feature the return of many of the tropes of the first three movies. Herzog has stated that, as a parallel to his having lost a tooth in the first movie, Ed Helms will wake up in this film having lost “His very humanity.”
“There aren’t any cars in the Amazon,” said franchise regular Ken Jeong, “So this time I get locked naked in a hut instead. And then the hut burns down. I imagine they’ll use some sort of CGI to make it look like I’m really dying inside of it.”
Although costs of the film should remain low, Herzog has said that casualties are likely to be “extravagant”.
“His philosophy is, the actors must suffer with the characters, and the crew must suffer with the actors,” said studio executive Goldy Stockwell, “None of them will have food to eat and water to drink. Considering the money that saves us on craft services, we’re very into it.”
At press time, Dreamworks announced that David Lynch had signed on to direct Shrek 5.
