In the wake of the horrific accusations of sexual assault at numerous World Juniors events, Hockey Canada has so far stuck by its CEO and upper management, even reaching out to former sponsors an…
Tag: World Juniors
Canadians to hold off celebrating 2022 World Junior gold for a few years just in case
EDMONTON – The Canadian national junior team has won gold at the 2022 World Juniors, prompting countless hockey fans across the country to not celebrate until they’re sure it’s appropriate. After…
Hockey Canada buries Lucky Sexual Assault Settlement under centre ice before start of World Juniors
EDMONTON – In an effort to bring a little luck to our boys, Hockey Canada has revealed they had the ice maintenance crew at Rogers Place bury a lucky confidential sexual assault settlement …
COVID-19 wins World Juniors
EDMONTON – After a long and hard-fought tournament between some of the greatest under-20 hockey players from across the world, the International Ice Hockey Federation has declared COVID-19 the wi…
Update: Canadians realizing silver medal not worth health risk
EDMONTON – Canadians from across the country came to the realization that coming in second place wasn’t worth the risk of inviting dozens of international players and coaching staff to Cana…
Canadian holiday tradition of angrily berating teenagers continues
OSTRAVA, CZ – The long-held Canadian holiday tradition of berating 16-to 19-year-olds for losing a hockey game started a few days earlier this year. Fervent displays of the holiday spirit d…