With the Montreal Canadiens having won the North Division, Canadian hockey fans outside Quebec are faced with a dilemma: how can we explain the fact that the Habs did so much better than our team…
Tag: Winnipeg Jets
Exhausted, underpaid Manitoba nurse doesn’t even like hockey
WINNIPEG – An overworked and poorly compensated nurse who could have been paid with a ticket to a Winnipeg Jets playoff game doesn’t even like hockey. Tammy Marshall, an RN at Winnipeg’s He…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
More Jets fans taking out second mortgages to pay off single can of beer purchased at Bell MTS Place
WINNIPEG – According to survey of Winnipeg’s banks, more Winnipeg Jets fans are applying for second mortgages on their homes to pay for a single can of beer purchased at the Bell MTS Place …
Rest of Canada ‘super torn’ whether to support Winnipeg or Toronto in NHL playoffs
OTTAWA – As the NHL playoffs get started, Canadian hockey fans whose teams did not make the playoffs are faced with the incredibly difficult decision of whether to go with the Jets or Maple…
Winnipeg voted best place to live at latitude 49.8951° N, longitude 97.1384° W
WINNIPEG – For the fourth year in a row Winnipeg has been voted as the best place to live at the co-ordinates of longitude 49.8951° N, latitude 97.1384° W. “We have come a long way since Wi…
The Beaverton’s NHL preview 2017-2018
The biggest question in the 2017-2018 season is this: Will Canada snap it’s 23 year drought and finally bring Lord Stanley home? The Beaverton takes a look at each Canadian team’s chances: The Va…
Winnipeg Jets-San Jose Sharks rivalry heats up over a girl named Maria
SAN JOSE- The San Jose Sharks-Winnipeg Jets rivalry has hit a fever pitch after the Jets’ Mark Scheifele accidentally fell in love with Maria Burns – the enchanting sister of Sharks’ Brent Burns.…
NHL Playoff Preview 2015: Western Conference
The NHL’s Western Conference playoff action is about to heat up like a Maple Leafs player on a Florida golf course in mid-April. It’s part two of The Beaverton’s NHL Playoff Pre…
Winnipeg Human Rights Museum unveils City of Winnipeg as next discrimination exhibit
WINNIPEG – Just four months into its existence, the Canadian Museum for Human Rights has announced a new outdoor massive exhibit on discrimination it has entitled “The City of Winnipe…