TORONTO, ON – While details of rapper Drake’s new album “Scorpion” have been kept secretive to fans and media alike, some news about the album expected to be released in June 2018 surfaced …
Tag: Tim Hortons
Tim Hortons releases donut commemorating Humboldt Broncos donut PR disaster
OAKVILLE — Tim Hortons has released a second “tragedy donut” commemorating the PR disaster that followed the release of a Humboldt Bronco’s donut. The “PR Disaster” donut features miniature…
After once again losing at Roll Up The Rim, local man breaks down and buys Jet Ski
Peterborough, ON – Suffering yet another horrific loss at Tim Horton’s quasi-gambling game, Roll Up The Rim, Scott Heller has decided that he can’t live a day longer without a Jetski. “I think so…
Canadians tacitly accept ‘Rim’ and ‘Win’ as a rhyme for 32nd year in a row
HAMILTON – Remaining willfully blind to proper poetic structure in order to maintain a chance at winning a free coffee, Tim Hortons customers across Canada participated in Roll Up The Rim T…
Tim Hortons unable to stop franchises from mistreating employees because they don’t want to
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Tim Hortons heirs encourage minimum wage employees to inherit their own coffee chains
COBURG, ON — After cutting employee benefits and paid breaks, the heirs to the Tim Hortons fortune are encouraging their minimum wage employees to make up the lost earnings by inheriting mu…
New Tim Hortons ad encourages people to put booze in their coffee
Is there anything more Canadian?…
Tim Hortons celebrates Canada 150 by replacing Double-Double with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuple
OAKVILLE, ON – In celebration of Canada’s 150th birthday, Canada’s favourite coffee chain will replace their world famous Double-Doubles with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuples for a limited ti…
Tim Hortons launches answer to Unicorn Frappuccino: a cup of neon paint
OAKVILLE, ON – Releasing it hot on the heels of Starbucks’ multi-coloured Unicorn Frappuccino, Tim Hortons has announced its own Instagram-ready drink: a cup filled with neon paint. T…
Legal action forces restaurant to rebrand deathly hot wings as diarrhea wings
Burlington, ON – Following a class action law suit local sports bar Beer ‘n’ Birds Bar and Grill has been found guilty of false advertising after promoting their ghost pepper wings as ‘deat…