WASHINGTON D.C. – Faced with a growing number of airplane crashes caused in part by aggressive cuts to FAA staffing, President Donald Trump has solved the problem by pivoting his focus towa…
Tag: stock market
Crow pretty jazzed to grab engagement ring after couple finishes fighting in the park
VICTORIA, BC – During a midday flight through a lovely park, local crow Beaks McCaw spotted an exciting opportunity to add to her collection of shiny things upon witnessing an engaged coupl…
Financial sector aghast the poors are gaming system designed to be gamed by the rich
WALL STREET – A group of Redditors have bankrupted a hedge fund by betting on GameStop stock and the financial industry is furious and frightened by the fact that this shock to the markets …
Liberal fiscal update confirms “Shit’s Fucked”
OTTAWA – Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland unveiled the Liberal fiscal update this afternoon and, as expected, things are fucked. Big time fucked. “9 months into this pandemic cases …
Experts scramble to figure out how global oil price crash the fault of Wet’suwet’en protestors
CALGARY — As oil prices crash 31% worldwide and the Dow drops more than 2,000 points over Coronavirus fears, oil industry experts are working hard on a way to blame all of this on recent We…
US smock market suffers worst crash in years
NEW YORK CITY — The U.S. Smock Market closed down nearly 19 points on Friday, capping off a week that saw a 42 per cent drop across the board, making it the worst smock market crash in hist…
6 money management tips from a toddler who just bought five Kinder Eggs
Hi! I am rich! I have five Kinder Eggs that I brought from the store. Do you want to know how to get enough money to buy fiveKinder Eggs? This is the most Kinder Eggs I have ever seen! I have a l…
World’s last two corporations announce merger worth “all the money”
DOVER, DE – Hammering out a deal that experts estimate to be worth the entirety of Earth’s money supply, the world’s last two corporations have announced that they will be merging into a co…
