VICTORIA, BC – During a midday flight through a lovely park, local crow Beaks McCaw spotted an exciting opportunity to add to her collection of shiny things upon witnessing an engaged couple in the midst of a massive argument.
“Usually I look for tin foil, pop cans, the occasional steel nut,” the crow remarked “But I cannot wait for this couple’s clearly failing relationship to crumble so I can swipe that cool-ass ring.”
“It’ll look so good on my mantle.”
The couple’s argument reportedly began at 11:24 am, after a comment was made about a recent purchase in a certain company’s stocks from a joint account.
“Yeah I think he got into the stock market without telling her, but then it moved to like throwing out decorative things after they moved in together I think? I wasn’t really listening to be honest, the glint off of that rock was pretty distracting.”
Longtime members of the murder noted McCaw’s propensity for finding the most interesting items. “I’ve known Beaks for years, she always finds the best things,” commented a longtime avian friend. “One time there was a shiny sticker on this baby’s pacifier and she swooped down and stole it right out of the stroller. She still pulls that one out to show at parties.”
After a long wait, and a lot of screaming, McCaw witnessed what she had been waiting for, when the woman tossed her engagement ring against the man’s chest in a stream of tears before storming off, leaving the man solemnly crying in silence.
“Haha yeah it was great, I swooped down like ten feet away before that happened, then I just walked over. I think it was hard for him to see at first, on account of all the crying. Then I picked it up and flew away! Score!”
After placing the ring in their nest, McCaw flew back to perch on a nearby telephone wire and stared at the man until he was visibly freaked out by her haunting gaze.