Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took…
Tag: local man
“If gas prices are hurting your wallet so bad, why don’t you just buy a $45,000.00 electric car?” asks very helpful friend
Timmins, ON – After you mentioned how gas prices were making it impossible for you to get by financially, your very helpful and knowledgeable friend Darren suggested buying an expensive ele…
Spouting off entire resume deemed acceptable response to “how’ve you been?”
TORONTO – As Canadians begin socializing in-person again, The Canadian Board of Acceptable Social Norms (CBASN) has added spouting off a detailed account of your entire resume, including re…
Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything
Regina, SK – Local man Michael Edugyan has realized that the 3 year old toddler seated near him at this restaurant is better at using her iPad than he is at doing everything in his life. &#…
Guy who bought electric car last year struggling not to be smug about gas prices
TORONTO – Chris Landon, who bought a Kia Niro EV in early 2021 is trying real hard not to be a smug piece of shit when his friends and colleagues talk about how terrible gas prices are. …
Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money
Moncton, NB – Local man Dave Hollings was confused and a little concerned to discover that the password he uses to access a website where literally every dollar he has can be transferred aw…
Total hypocrite! This man doesn’t want police to violently attack homeless but does want them to ticket convoy holding city hostage
OTTAWA – Local hypocrite Kai Green has expressed his support for Ottawa police writing tickets for truckers who are making life miserable for residents by honking all day and night, despite…
Man who just took bite out of scalding hot pizza going to ride this thing out until the bitter end
FREDERICTON – Recent reports have now confirmed that Tony Freedman, a local man who took an initial bite of incredibly hot pizza moments ago, plans to just keep that bite in his mouth until it’s …
“Sure Omicron may be 100% more infectious, but it’s 15% less deadly so everything will be fine,” says man who is real good at math
Red Deer, AB – As data comes forward indicating the Omicron variant is twice as infectious as Delta but possibly causes 10-15% less deaths amidst those it infects, local math expert Dalton …
Single drop of sweat falls down local dad’s face as he tells daycare worker his child doesn’t have runny nose
TORONTO – As local father Jalen Hart told the worker asking COVID checklist questions at the front entrance of the Little Tot’s Playhouse daycare that his child Marcus did not have a …