MOOSE JAW, SK – As more people work remotely than ever before, there are millions of thick books happily propping up their laptops. On the Origin of Species, the foundational book of the fi…
Tag: laptop
Local teens find old laptop with PornHub Premium account in woods
VANCOUVER – Local teens Luke, Ryan, and Tucker were gobsmacked this weekend after finding a laptop with a paid premium account to the explicit website PornHub in the woods behind their scho…
Spine of woman crouched in front of laptop achieves Golden Ratio
MARKHAM, ON – In the act of crouching over her laptop for hours on end, Salma Kuchis managed to finally curl her spine perfectly into the approximation of the Golden Ratio. “Here I was thin…
Report: Laptop tired of staying up until 3am every night
TORONTO – According to reports, Stephanie McGrath’s laptop simply can’t keep up with her late nights, most often consisting of google searches such as “Tilda Swinton how old” and Buzzfeed q…
Mirthless sociopath has the gall to ask for notes after missing every class
WATERLOO, ON – Deep in the trenches of Wilfrid Laurier University’s exam period, Jake Ripper, known sociopath, had the audacity to ask around for notes after missing every single class in t…
Woman who actually finishes screenplay in coffee shop immediately spills coffee on laptop
VANCOUVER- For the first time in coffee shop history, a local woman, Sandra Carins, 26, actually completed a screenplay, one she had been working on for the past six years, only to immediately kn…
Opinion: Stop offering me coffee – I’m just here to charge my phone, laptop and car
By: Tad Arlington Coffee shops just don’t know when to quit, do they? Not only are they popping up on every corner, and regularly raising their already abhorrent prices, but they also incessantly…
Apple invents new laptop that is designed to be turned off once in a while
PAOLO ALTO – In a stunning announcement Apple Inc. has revealed that their new MacBook Pro has been specially built so that it will function better if turned off from time to time. “As our …
After cleaning his laptop screen, man discovers he’s been typing on old pizza box for months
LONDON – After a thorough cleaning Rodney Rubberts discovered that what he thought was his laptop was actually an empty pizza box he’s been typing on for months. “I just got frustrated,” st…