WASHINGTON D.C. – As Joe Biden is officially sworn in as the 46th president of the United States, insiders report that former president Trump is currently hiding in the White House hoping t…
Tag: inauguration
Breaking: Read the letter Trump left for Biden
After weeks of rumours that outgoing President Trump would break with tradition and not leave a letter for his successor Joe Biden, it has just been confirmed that he did in fact write a letter. …
Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
Canada extends U.S. border closure to totally arbitrary date of January 21
OTTAWA – The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date with no specific significance whatsoever.” “We would li…
Toby Keith, 3 Doors Down excited for invitation to play Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Musician Toby Keith and rock band 3 Doors Down have both reported how excited they are to be playing for the inauguration of the next US president Joe Biden. “I mean it h…
Sarah Sanders looking forward to spending more time lying to her family
WASHINGTON, DC – U.S. President Donald Trump has announced that Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving her post as White House press secretary at the end of June, following nearly two years…
America kicking itself for not inaugurating the guys from Duck Dynasty
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Upon the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are just waking up to the fact that they could have installed anyone they wanted in office, up to and includ…
U.S. Joint Chiefs caught buying book on how to stage military coups
Only one day after Donald Trump’s inauguration, several members of the U.S. Joint Chiefs Of Staff were spotted today at a Washington area Barnes and Nobel purchasing a copy of “How To Stage…
Breaking: Trudeau loses only black friend
OTTAWA – Sources close to the PM say Justin Trudeau is heartbroken by Trump’s inauguration, as it means he will no longer be in close contact with his only “diverse” friend: U.S. President …
Donald Trump to be sworn in by actor dressed like his father saying he’s proud of him
WASHINGTON – President-elect Donald Trump will make history this Friday, when he is both sworn in and assured he has made his father proud, by an actor portraying the late Fred Trump. “The …