EDMONTON – Alberta’s cash-strapped unions and corporations are finally getting some relief after Premier Rachel Notley announced they will be prohibited from making donations to political p…
Tag: Fitness
Health Canada allows gay men to donate blood so long as they go straight for a year
OTTAWA – Minister of Health Jane Philpott has announced that the federal government will be lifting the restriction on gay men’s blood donation so long as they have been heterosexual for th…
Man at gym takes off shirt to show bulging biceps on third arm
TORONTO – In a show of machismo earlier this morning, local man Kyle Dresden removed his shirt while working out so that he could unfold the third arm from behind his back and show off its …
Vince Carter skips NBA All-Star tribute to attend master’s graduation ceremony
TORONTO, ON — Vince Carter has decided to attend his master’s graduation ceremony instead of NBA All Star tribute, because “it’s the most Vinsanity thing to do.” “It was my dream to slam du…
Bill Blair wins Liberal candidacy after kettling nomination meeting
TORONTO – Former Toronto police chief Bill Blair has won the Liberal Party nomination in the riding of Scarborough Southwest after kettling the nomination meeting. Saying that it was the mo…
CSIS oversight committee moves into new quarters at YMCA
OTTAWA – Responsible for overseeing the newly expanded powers of the Canadian spy agency CSIS, the Security Intelligence Review Committee has just moved into a 240 square-foot office comple…
Edward Snowden sick of Vladimir Putin just wanting to hang out all the time
MOSCOW – According to sources, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is getting sick and tired of having to spend much of his day “chilling” with Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Snowden, who …
Fat guy, plus-sized woman walk through park holding hands
TORONTO – Observers at a local park yesterday watched as a really fat man walked holding hands with a curvaceous woman. “They were possibly a couple,” said one witness of the balding, overw…
11 year-olds in tree house divided over ‘no girls’ policy
VANCOUVER – Controversy has struck the tree fort in Jeffrey Lewis’s backyard following the implementation of a ‘no girls’ rule. “It’s my fort and I say no girls!” said Lewis. “I don’t even …
Screw it, we’re all going to die anyway
By Rona Ambrose, Minister of Health I was sitting on a panel discussing assisted suicide the other day when I came to a startling realization. I’ve been totally gypped. At first I thought, wow, m…
