WASHINGTON D.C. – After almost 250 years of data-gathering, the American experiment has ended in a catastrophic laboratory explosion. “I don’t understand what went wrong!” sighed the facili…
Tag: fire
Editorial: Kids today are overprotected! I died in a fire.
OLD TOWN OF YORK – Look, I’m not someone who rises from the grave easily. I’m just a normal taxpayer like anyone else. I keep my head down, visit the dying, scare cats, and I don’t get exci…
High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson
VANCOUVER — As the travel season approaches, record-breaking gas prices are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his an…
Air Canada reconvenes meeting of the Four Elemental Canadas
MONTREAL – Air Canada, Canada’s largest airline by fleet size, summoned its elemental brethren to the Four Seasons Hotel Montreal this week for their annual meeting to discuss the affairs o…
Catholic church asked to keep in mind the good arson has done
KAMLOOPS – Reeling from a series of suspicious fires across British Columbia, the Catholic Church was reminded of the good that arson has also done. “While it is possible to use fire to sys…
As Google threatens to leave Australia, AskJeeves rebrands as “What’s the John Dory, Jeevo”
CANBERRA, AU – As a result of the ongoing dispute between Google and the Australian government over the News Media Bargaining Code, formerly defunct search engine AskJeeves re-emerged on th…
Stalwart Winnipeggers not going to let the A&W being on fire get in the way of their drive-thru order
WINNIPEG – Showing an absolute resolve in their dedication to the A&W fast-food chain, loyal Winnipeggers were still making orders through the drive-thru despite the restaurant being co…
Campfire smell lingers into third day
PETERBOROUGH, ON – The distinct smell of charcoal and woodsmoke continues to linger around an Ontario family three full days after returning from a weekend camping trip. “I didn’t mind the …
Conservative aunt remarks, “It’s just a bad year for wildfires” for fourth year in row
WHITE ROCK, B.C. – With the haze of wildfire smoke as thick as her Mary Kay smokey eye, conservative-leaning aunt, Linda Bertolucci, calmly assured her family, “It’s just a bad year for wil…
BREAKING: 23 mall-goers hospitalized after succumbing to Cinnabon fumes
TORONTO – Emergency crews rushed to the Dufferin Mall earlier today in response to reports that nearly two dozen mall patrons had succumbed to fumes emitted by the shopping centre’s Cinnabo…