PICKERING, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has passed legislation that will help protect precious low-density housing, winding streets, and majestic parking lots from the encroachment of the…
Tag: Featured Post
Danielle Smith warns that Justin Trudeau’s reckless politics will get 400 million Albertans fired
EDMONTON – Premier Danielle Smith has warned that Ottawa’s upcoming Just Transition bill will cost hundreds of millions of Albertans their jobs in the oil and gas industry. “After a federal memo …
Gift certificate squandered
CALGARY – Frank Benton has wasted the $150 Best Buy gift card his parents gave him for Christmas, despite spending weeks carefully thinking about how to use it. Local sources report that Benton h…
Study: Best way to get rid of a body is to check it as luggage with Air Canada
TORONTO – A new study has revealed that the best way to get rid of an unwanted cadaver is to carefully pack it into a suitcase and check it as luggage with Air Canada at a local airport. &#…
Man caught stealing eggs from Loblaws charged with theft over $5,000
VANCOUVER — Police working with Loblaws store security have managed to foil a brazen daytime robbery of the Grandview Highway Superstore location, the suspect almost making off with two dozen egg…
Health Canada clarifies alcohol won’t give you cancer if you eat a bunch of bread beforehand
OTTAWA — Following recommendations by the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA) to put warning labels on alcohol, Health Canada has issued an advisory informing Canadians they can…
Stabbed man who got hit by 3 cars then thrown off a bridge probably died from the vaccine
Windsor, ON – Local man Ryan Garner was pronounced dead this morning after being stabbed and hit by 3 cars in a row, the last of which knocked him off a 40 foot high bridge, making him just…
Second Passion of the Christ movie lays groundwork for expansion of the JCU
HOLLYWOOD – Almost 20 years after the first movie became a huge hit, a sequel to The Passion of the Christ has been announced, setting the stage for a massive expansion of the Jesus Christ …
Farsighted man can only find clitoris from across the room
THUNDER BAY, ON – Optometrist Dr. Emily Hu wasn’t looking for a new case study when she discovered her new boyfriend Hunter Nelson’s excellent far vision somehow hindered his ability to fin…
After “I’m Japanese” controversy Gwen Stefani says “sorry”, immediately claims to be Canadian
CHICAGO – In the wake of a backlash against recent claims by Gwen Stefani that she is “Japanese”, the singer attended a hastily-gathered news conference where she apologised for her hurtful…
