EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is insisting that after Jason Kenney lost billions investing in the Keystone XL pipeline which President Joe Biden has cancelled, the U.S. government…
Tag: Featured Post
Julie Payette: I’m so sorry that my staffers are all a bunch of pussies
OTTAWA – Following news accounts of a scathing independent report into her workplace behaviour, Julie Payette resigned yesterday as Canada’s Governor General and released a public resignati…
Canada happy for friend who just got out of terrible relationship
OTTAWA – Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a long-term relationship with a real piece of shit. “It’s hard, when you see a powerful nation, one…
Breaking: Read the letter Trump left for Biden
After weeks of rumours that outgoing President Trump would break with tradition and not leave a letter for his successor Joe Biden, it has just been confirmed that he did in fact write a letter. …
Trump pardons COVID-19
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what may be the final batch of pardons issued by the president before the end of his term, Donald Trump has announced that COVID-19 will receive a full and complete pardon fo…
“Don’t call me Canada’s Donald Trump” says Canada’s Donald Trump Jr.
OTTAWA – Rejecting accusations that he is similar in any way to President Donald Trump, Canada’s equivalent to Donald Trump Jr. released a statement denying his party is in any way fa…
Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
Ford gov clarifies lockdown rules with new riddle
TORONTO – Facing criticism by Ontarians who don’t understand their new lockdown rules, the Ford government has sought to simplify matters by explaining everything through a simple rid…
“WHAT’S IN THE VACCINE?” says man who doesn’t know what’s in his fridge
Barrie, ON – A local man unaware of the contents of his own refrigerator is demanding to know what is in the COVID-19 vaccine. Justin Travers, 34, is extremely concerned about the contents of the…
In rare show of bipartisanship only 95% of Republicans vote in favour of man who tried to kill them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisanship nearly 5% of Republican Members of Congress voted to impeach the man who, exactly one week ago, sent a horde of white supremacists …
